Jan 19, 2013

NHL Season Countdown 4, 3, 2... 1!

Let's continue the countdown...

No 4 Proper Attire
Not only a jersey, but proper accessories are a must!

The season is upon us... It's time to look the part.  We've already covered the toque but we need to get to the next level of awesomeness.  Granted the true hockey fan looks the part 365 days a year with the team logo T's, flip-flops and even your Boston Bruins team logo thong when the temps are far from freezing.
Not quite proper hockey attire
There are many ways to express yourself aside from the Authentic NHL Jersey.  You can Accessorize your hockey look with  scarves, gloves, robes and whatever else suits your fancy.   As for the Jersey, if you're going to get one with a particular player, be sure he has some staying power or you may be facing the choice of buying a new jersey year after year or being the source of ridicule in your Chuck Kobasew or ::gasp:: Phil Kessel authentic jersey.   You can always get the Full Monty of customization and have your own name or better yet nickname put on there.
Best bet is to get a second opinion before you order, lest you end up on the Custom Jersey Fail blogs.  Otherwise, go get em "P WHIPPED 69"


Just be sure whatever jersey choice you opt for, that your follow the golden rule of "The Tuck"

 

No 3 Man Cave w/HDTV

You could try to get to every game and be a superfan like Bob Gertenrich in Chicago... but most of us unfortunately don't have that kind of time or money to spare.  So what's a die hard to do?  
Create your own, hockey viewing luxury box right at home!
You need the essentials of course.  A comfy couch (preferably a recliner with your own ass-groove,) a coffee table or TB tray to put your snacks and beverages, all manner of hockey themed goods and accessories... like these:

Once you've finished all the decorating and accessorizing to set the mood, you still need something to actually watch the game.  The dawn of HDTV was a boon for hockey fans everywhere.  While the game has always been a blast to watch, it was nowhere near the experience of watching it live.  Yeah, the songs and production values were the best they could be... 

So nowadays, you can get all that nostalgia via YouTube and enjoy the real deal on a 32, 42, 55 or even a ginormous 65-Inch HDTV! That's perfect for getting that close up view of the puck, watching the instant replay of a goal under review to see if it really crossed the line, or even watch Joe Thornton pull an Irish hankey that turns into a hanger with that feeling of being right there in the action.

No 2 The Pregame Place

So, you've got the tickets.  You have the transport.  You have the guys to meet up with.  What next?  You've got to have the "Pregame."
Hockey, unlike football is not an all day event.  (Unless it's the Winter Classic)  So tailgating and packing up your own cooler is not really an option.  Many games happen on a weeknight with the guys (and/or gals) coming in from multiple locations.  You need a place to meet up and "get in the right mindset" for the game. 

Several factors to consider when choosing the place: 

Food selection and prices: You want to be able to get some good eats at reasonable prices.  I'll pass on the brie crusted salmon fritter niblets that come in a whopping serving size of two.  Give me the 25 cent wing and chili-cheese fry special... and pretzels.  Must have the soft pretzel.
Atmosphere: Hooters?  Um no.  
Hooters' Target Audience...
Unless you're still 14, I assume if you want to go stare at breasts, you can go to a more adult themed establishment if you choose.  So, not only are the beer and food prices inflated and the selection mediocre, but you've proven you have the sophistication of Kevin Federline.  You need to find a place with good people, servers who may actually enjoy and be good at their job. 
Location:  This is a key.  It needs to be near the arena, but not so close that it draws the casual yahoo or ::gasp:: the pink hats.  Preferably it's a place where the people "In the know" head to before a game.  

Which brings us to...

No 1: BEER

Not much explanation needed here.  Whether home or at the game, nothing is better than kicking back with a cold one.  Follow the "Property of the One." Drink responsibly and enjoy the return of the NHL season!
We prefer the smooth taste of Elsinore, Eh!?

Jan 16, 2013

NHL Season Countdown 9-5

Continuing on with the countdown, it's going to get a little awkward here.  I'm sure the blog format will make it weird with some posts above others.  Try to follow the headings if you're concerned about that sort of thing.

No 9: A "Murph"

As an avid hockey fan, you know every group has that guy who knows little to nothing about the sport... you know the one that at least once a game on an icing call asks "What was that whistle for?"
While the hockey knowledge may be limited, he's just a hell of a lot of fun to hang out with, especially at a game.  This is a win-win scenario with many benefits.
The game is an event.  While the die hard fan may live or die with the team, the "Murph" lightens the mood instantly.   "Dude that sucks, huh?"  Almost zen-like in ability to allow you to get some perspective after a bad goal or missed chance.  
The "Murph" also brings back that child-like innocence of watching the game without the gravity that we adults tend to place on it.  Turn that 5-0 drubbing your team is getting into a Thanksgiving-like event.  "It's cool to get out and hang.  We should go to more games."  Not to mention the youthful desire to get on the Jumbotron which is always good for a couple of laughs.
And the most important reason to have a "Murph":   He couldn't give a rat's ass about missing the play to go get a couple more beers.  "Hey bro, I'm out. you need one too?"  
Yes I do Murph...  Yes I do.

No 8  The "Hook Up"

In many markets (I'm looking at you Florida) you can just walk up to the rink the day of the game and get tickets.  Here in Boston, that's true for a handful of games a year.  It's not happening for Les Habitants for one thing, and more often than not for any team worth seeing.  Your alternative is to walk around Causeway St. to get tickets from one of any number of shady sources with a "reasonable" mark up from the face value.  The tickets are a better deal once the game starts obviously, but you run the risk of not getting in at all or sitting with your three buddies in opposite corners of the rink and sharing some quality time at the urinals between periods.
Your best bet it to get season tickets.  Obviously not the cheapest method but done right, it is the ultimate "Hook Up."  Get a group of friends to pool tickets so you can get some time with "the guys" at the games as well as provide and outlet for some quality family time at those Saturday afternoon matinee games.  
Just make sure you are at the top of the pecking order with the group so when things such as big rivalry games or playoff tickets come into play, you have the right of first refusal for the seats.

No 7 Hockey Fight Tapes

Yes, I know this is the YouTube era but there is something nostalgic about watching some grainy footage that Gordo in Saskatoon taped off his CBC broadcast back in 1983.  Yes, today's players are bigger, faster and stronger but there were some real tough SOB's back in the day that made it a different game.  
One of the best things about the Fight Tapes is that you can throw them in while hanging out playing cards or such and they provide ample entertainment for hours on end.  
Don't have a VHS?  A good alternative is the Don Cherry DVD's such as Rock Em, Sock Em series.


Disregard the fact his image was taken after a Blake Wheeler hat trick...

No 6  The Toque

If you're not Canadian, or a die hard hockey fan you probably don't quite know what a Toque is... but judging from the picture, you're guessing it's some kind of hat.  Correct!  While the Toque is by definition a particular style of hat, it has been generally accepted in Canada and therefore hockeydom as a colloquialism for a chapeau. 
You can go to the game without one, but beware looking like a fool when a hat trick is scored.   While I can't condone being a Canuck's fan... nucksandpucks over at SB Nation wrote a great Hat Trick Code of Conduct that I recommend reading.
I personally like to support local business  by getting a quality knit hat from the "Five Dollar Hat Guy" for those cold winter game nights.  Besides, I'm sure he's paying the appropriate license fees and sales taxes.
If you don't have access to the ultimate in free enterprise, you can always get your favorite team toque online.

 No 5 Someone to Hate

PK Subban, Douche of renowned proportion
 Your team doesn't play every night.  Even in the shortened 48 game season, there will be nights that your guys are not on, but you want to watch a game and at least root 'against' someone.  There are teams you can root against naturally, but it is much more fun if you can have a particular player or two to despise. 
Realistically, no hero is worth much of anything without a villain. I mean Batman Begins was just OK because the villain was meh.  Add a manic depressive drug addled lead and give him the nemesis role and The Dark Knight Trilogy comes to life.  This year is a carry over for me with P.K. Subban once again playing the lead.  He's not evil by any stretch of the imagination, just a colossal punk.
Even his brother Malcolm, recently drafted by the Bruins said "I don’t know if he’s gonna like me too much, but to be honest, I never liked him that much."

Jan 10, 2013

10 days until the season starts

With the dawn of the new NHL season set to start Saturday January 19, I felt it was important to be prepared.  I know some of us have been operating in Doomsday Preppers mode and stocking up the bunkers for the possibility of a lost NHL season.   After saving some money on the Bruins Season tickets, we get to a season length that by some accounts might actually be more enjoyable.
I agree that 84 games seems like an eternity and that very few regular season games come close to the excitement of the NHL playoffs, but that is a debate for another day.

So here I will countdown the top 10 things for all fans to have in preparation for the season opener.

No 10  NHL13  

 What better way to get ready for the upcoming season than with your very own run at Lord Stanley's cup.  There have been many versions of hockey video games, but this is still the standard.  Great online play and leagues really enhance the experience.  Still can't recapture the glory days of the Sega Genesis NHL94 but it's a damned good game nonetheless.  So, invite some friends over, get some beers and get it on.


We're back

Looks like the NHL season is back!  So in that spirit, I've decided to resurrect the Angry Sammich blog.
This will be a rambling of opinions, recommendations, and general internet goodness on a scale previously unimaginable.  Feel free to leave comments and such as you go, just remember good taste and good fun. 
"OBVIOUS TROLL IS OBVIOUS."